When it comes to apologies how do you know when to give one vs. except one? Some people are very stubborn on making sure those three words never leave their mouth. But this can actually do a lot of damage, not only to your partner, but also yourself. Saying "I am sorry" is simply to take responsibility for your actions or words that could have possibly hurt another. It is not some competition of who can hold out the longest, or who has had to say it less. Matter of fact, if you are playing these games, why are you in the relationship in the first place? Shouldn't it be your first priority to make sure you never hurt or harm your partner? Whether you just started dating, have been together for years, or are married, the care in the relationship should be the same. Love is love. Yes, it means something different to everyone but the main proponents shouldn't change. To protect, care for and cherish this person. Releasing of your ego in these moments, no matter how hard, can do wonders. A healthy relationship isn't one sided, apologies shouldn't be either.
When it comes to crying, why is there often so much guilt that comes with the tears? This feeling that you are burdening someone for expressing how you feel. For woman, it can be the guilt of not being worthy enough to take up that persons time or energy. That you are difficult to handle because you are a human being. For men, it is taboo. "A real man never cries", that if you have any ounce of what is seen as more "feminine" emotion or feeling, you need to lock that shit up and move on. Nobody wants to see that. Why do we do this to each other? Being soft and vulnerable in a world that tries to harden you is a gift. For such a natural occurrence, why is there so much shame and guilt surrounding it? None of us are getting out of here alive, might as well show your emotions while you still have time.
When it comes to a relationship, why are male and female tendencies so vastly different? Men are from Mars woman are from Venus, sound familiar? It can often seem that men need to experience some great phenomena before getting into a relationship. That they can't even look at you until they have traveled the world three times around. Where as females, are less likely to constrain themselves. They come more from a if the right thing comes along viewpoint. Why do you think this is? I understand that this is very much stereotyping, as even in this type of situation, there are two types of men. Ones that want to build their empire with you and ones that want to have everything ready for you upon arrival. I am referring to those types of men. The ones that want to work hard and experience everything they need to prior, to feeling they can settle down. That by you coming along sooner than they are ready, you are almost suffocating their freedom and ability to explore. Now don't get all angry, it is understandable in a sense. But unfortunately, trying to understand this after you have already fallen in love with them is difficult. Why can't they love me now?!! Females, on the other hand, seem to be a lot more easy going in this area. But at times, are we too easy going? Should we take on more of the mindset men have? Create boundaries, draw more lines in the sand, make our decision important, of wanting to explore ourselves and the world fully before settling down. I will let you know when I am ready, rather than, whenever you feel you want a relationship I am game. Should this be our new motto? We are in this era of empowerment, why not use it? Flip around this vulnerable mindset of waiting on a man to create your world and create your own. Use this time, where you would normally be waiting for somebody, to truly find yourself. Learn a new language, taking cooking classes, become more spiritually in touch with yourself, finally get that tattoo you have been wanting or take that boot camp class your friends have been raving about. In a world where woman are embodying more power and using our voices shouldn't this be something we speak up about? Create your own prerequisites. It's liberating setting your own boundaries isn't it?!
I used to believe in honeymoon phases and love never lasting. Piddling out before it could start. Wreaking havoc on young hearts. This was the love I had come to know and see. Though I hoped and prayed for something quite differently. I was the most cynical fairytale-lover there ever was. That was until I looked into your eyes and caught your buzz. Two years in and they can see, your glance in my direction and I am still buzzing like a bee.
Take pride in how far you have come and have faith in how far you can go