Is love the main "goal" in life? I know this may sound silly, or dramatic, but is it? Just think about it. I know we aren't back in the 1900's, but when you think about your future isn't love involved somehow? Some very independent and driven people may think work and there legacy is what life is about. This is perfectly fine, if you are one of those people! But, many who started out as driven and independent ended up looking for love. They realized what is the point of having all this success if they have no one to share it with ? Which then loops back around to my first question, is love the main goal? When I say love, it could be with a significant other, yourself, a cat, whatever you choose, but is that everyone's subconscious drive or "goal" in life? If you are still not convinced, try to think about a future that doesn't involve love at all. It's pointless.
When I first heard I wasn't "flirty or sexy enough" from a friend I began to try and change it. I tried using more smiley and winky faces only leading to more booty calls and two days where a guy lusts after me, then drops off the face of the earth, a.k.a my favorite kind of interactions. So what the hell was I doing wrong? When I was myself I wasn't good enough and when I tried to be more flirty I got exactly what I didn't want. But the thing was, I was flirty, just in my own goofy way. I think in doing this little experimentation, I learned that I will never be that Jessica Rabbit sex symbol every guy drools over. The great thing about that, I didn't want to be her, I wanted to be me. But I felt that in being me it wasn't good enough, and that is where I went wrong in the first place. I thought that I had to listen to my friend because he is a guy so he has to be the holy grail for all guys. Wrong! Being me is enough, it is more than enough. If you don't like my flirting you can find someone else; I know that there will be someone out there, wherever he is, and that he will come along and love me for all I am. So no I will never be one of those girls that sends you sexy photos of herself, I have too much respect for my mind and body to send you a photo that I would be ashamed over just to make you happy. I will give you the world but you have to give me the respect I deserve first. I am not a piece of meat to be bought, I am a human being with feelings. For anyone else who has felt the same way, I assure you that in trying to change for a guy you loose all connection to yourself. Once you loose you, everyday life becomes an internal war, you have no clue who you are or what you should do other than listen to people telling you how you should act. In doing this you drift farther and farther away from yourself in hopes to be happy. In reality all that can make you happy is you. No person or material object will ever bring you happiness like you can. So please, don't loose sight of who you are, you are an incredible being all on your own.
Have you ever had a guy that confuses and disappoints you time and again, but somehow you can't get him off your mind? Whether you are dating this person or have just met them, why do they have such a hold on you? Is it something about the mystery behind their smile, or smirk rather, ugh, I love a good smirk! Anyway, whatever it may be, why are we so drawn to them after they keep hurting us? Are we just a glutton for punishment? Does this also happen to guys or is it only in a females makeup to go after the "bad boy"? Lets also just go back to the point of just meeting a guy and becoming completely taken by him. I am not talking about being a creepy stalker, but just not being able to stop thinking about him and immediately start beaming when they text you. Why is this? Why do we create such a hold on someone we barely know? Are we maybe just hoping for a fairy-tale ending and that he will sweep us off our feet? Whether you have known him for years or a matter of hours, why do we become so enveloped in their bad treatment? Maybe we need to look on the inside, rather than asking why they keep hurting us, perhaps the better question is why do we continue to allow it?
In our everyday lives it is difficult not to judge. Everyone does it in some way, and sometimes this judgmental attitude can lead to jealousy. I know we have all been there, that moment when you worked your butt at work to get a promotion and it's given to someone who is getting it due to "connections". Or when you just wanted to feel really pretty for a girls night out, but on the morning of your big outing you find a pimple smack dab on your forehead; then on the other hand your friend who treats their body like crap, has skin as soft as a babies and looks sensational. It feels unfair, I understand! My one question is, do we bring it upon ourselves? Do we judge our way to our own disappointment? When everything is all said and done it seems the ones who don't care to judge others, or get jealous, are always happy. Maybe they just don't let frustrating situations get to them. But for some its not that simple. It doesn't mean you have thin skin if situations get to you it just means your emotionally sensitive and aware, that's a good thing! But judging is only going to bring more disappointment, you are basically saying "I hate that such and such happened, why does this always happen to me?" and therefore you repel whatever you are truly desiring; because you are putting out there that your tired of it always happening to you! So, what are you supposed to do? Celebrate! By celebrating others victories you are only setting yourself up for your own victory. I am working on this myself, and I am not going to lie it's difficult, to completely change your brain to celebrate when all you want to do it throw yourself a pity party (by the way, those really don't help!). Then when you do begin to celebrate others, along with bringing your own victories, it will bring more positivity in your life, and who doesn't want that? The judgmental Judy inside of you doesn't, so shut her up! ;)
Many of you have probably heard of this word already, but if you haven't it's when you basically daydream about a certain interaction occurring that you would like to manifest in your life. Supposedly the more details you add the more likely it will happen. The issue with this is if you visual too much, to the point of getting your hopes up then what happens. Then you have created this amazing daydream that you have gotten all excited about, only for it not to occur. Now I truly believe the Universe (or whatever/whomever you believe in) will send the right situations or people at the right time. Of course being me, and I know I am not the only one, I try to visualize interactions or situations having to do with relationships (all positive of course!). I think in doing this I have kicked myself in the foot more than I have helped myself. Sometimes visualizing can be dangerous due to falling for the person you have conjured up in your head rather than the actual person in front of you. I know this is not purposeful, for you were just trying to be as detailed as possible in your thoughts, right? Of course they were all what you hoped for rather than the reality of the situation or person, which is where it gets tricky. Now I personally would love to live in a world where I don't need to be realistic all the time, but unfortunately that is not, well....realistic. So what is a girl to do? Do I need to tone down my excitement? Or maybe the depth of my visualizations? I believe these are both valid, realistic avenues I could take. But I don't think I will take either, and that's just my personal preference. I know it might not be the smartest approach, but I will live how I want to live dammit! How I want to live is in a world with unicorns and butterflies, just kidding.....sort of. ;) Seriously I think that we should be able to visualize how ever we want, BUT in doing this you should just be aware, because awareness is everything, that it may or may not turn out how you have envisioned. In just being aware and being at peace with what may or may not come to fruition you have created more of a positive vibration and energy rather than dwelling on how it's not working. All in all, believe what you want to believe, visualize as you may and never give up on living a happy positive life! :)
"Maybe we only obsess over relationships that feel unfinished". If Carrie Bradshaw is correct in saying this, why is it? No matter where the relationship goes, whether its short lived, long term, or barely started, do we only obsess over the ones that have no closure? Some may think this is crazy talk, that if someone screws you over forget them no matter how long your relationship was. But there are others, myself included, that maybe it isn't so simple for. For example, when in a relationship with someone whether its platonic or romantic and they stop talking to you for no apparent reason, does that mean the relationship is over? If it was up to you most likely not, but obviously to the other person its dunzo. So in this situation are you just supposed to stop whatever feelings you had for that person and move on? The funny thing about that is feelings don't just stop, well actually it's not funny at all, but you get the point. When you have feelings for someone it seems hard to get over them without anger. So in the example situation how are you supposed to get angry when there really isn't anything to get angry at? Yes, you could get frustrated at how the person stopped talking to you, but you really have no clue as to why that is, so there is nothing to fuel your animosity. When in a relationship, whether it just started blooming or has been growing for years, are we more likely to hold onto ones that seem to have no end? When you feel this need to hold on is it because you really wanted it to work out? Or is it just that unknown feeling of "what happened", or all the "could've, would've, should've 's " that keep it alive due to it never truly ending? All in all "Maybe we only obsess over relationships that feel unfinished".
Remember when you first kissed my cheek
On that warm summers day,
The sky without a stitch of grey
And we watched that flying blue jay?
Remember when we first held hands
The joining of separate beings becoming one,
And how you rubbed my hand with your thumb,
My little hand enveloped in yours, nothing mattered anymore.
Remember when you first stayed the night?
I was scared, but you told me it would be alright
Your warmth encompassed me
And before I knew it, I was asleep.
Remember when you proposed to me
Everything planned so perfectly,
With you down on your knee
And your arm outstretched, I almost forgot how to breath.
Remember when you said “I do”
And I whispered I loved you,
We exchanged rings that embodied our vows
And that is where I am left now.
All my single ladies, if you have been on your own for a while you have probably heard a great deal of "advice" on how to meet somebody. Most likely it was from your family or friends that already have a significant other and they think they know everything there is to know. Further there is a chance during this conversation you have heard something about having to love yourself in order to find someone. That until you have appreciation for all that is you, you will never find someone. Then right as you come around to welcome all your beautiful flaws the right person will come along, blah, blah, blah. Am I the only one who thinks this is a bunch of horse shit? (sorry mom). Yes, I completely agree that you should love yourself, but that is an everyday task, it only fully comes with time. Even then you will still have weak moments where you aren't as confident or don't feel as sexy. But for someone to say the only way you will find love is for you to fully love and except yourself is silly, I believe the older we get the more we gain in confidence, so unless you want to get married at 80 don't follow this relationship lesson. Along with this, am I the only one wondering how a girl who is so incredibly insecure seems to always have a boyfriend? I can't be the only one that knew mousy, shy girls in high school that dated more people in 6 months than I had in 18 years. How does this work?! Is this some sort of universal joke? (after all it is April Fools) Or did these girls just get lucky? When it comes to dating, is it about confidence or coincidence?
Take pride in how far you have come and have faith in how far you can go