When our intuition or gut feeling tells us something that we want to "hear", or rather feel, can we always count on it as being correct? Or is our body just tricking us into thinking something just to make ourselves happy? To fulfill our own delusion that what we want is going to happen, when in reality it never was supposed to come to fruition. So in saying this, do we sometimes build ourselves up just to be let down? Are we addicted to the high, that is only made so perfect, due to the darkness of the low that follows? In trusting ourselves, how are we supposed to know if its intuition or inclination?
When you hold onto something that happened to you in the past, not only is it hurting you, but now you carry around this baggage. This past experience becomes a part of you, a part of your story that you tell. But are we really just telling someone else's story that has been morphed along the line? Have you heard the saying, that goes something like, "what someone does or how someone treats you is a reflection of how they truly feel about themselves"? If this is true, are we all just walking around carrying pictures of other peoples internal emotions and disguising them as our own? Is our past just a collage of subconscious feelings from the people that we have interacted with, rather than moments of time?
for that feeling
just saturating the air
the act of trying too hard
like nails down a chalkboard
to feel close,
to be encompassed
by someone's body,
the smell and warmth of another being
But at the same time,
scares you shitless,
the act of being truly vulnerable
makes you want to curl up and hide
to be open,
to be able
to talk to someone,
without any reservations
But at the same time,
you only share
what you have always shared,
because if you share more
then you get too close,
and we already talked about intimacy
You want love,
But at the same time,
It is the only thing you truly fear.
This year on Mothers Day I got congratulated with a "happy mothers day", to which I responded laughing "but I am not a mother" and then in response the person added "but you will be someday". Now this was all done very innocently and I know it wasn't from a bad place whatsoever, but what if I never intended on becoming a mom? This whole idea of your a woman so you need to be a mom, really got to me. Now, I will come out and just say, that in fact I do want to be a mom, someday, but what if I didn't? There are already so many expectations society pushes upon us; why do we now have the expectation of creating a life, other than our own, when we never intend to do so? To add to this if you never have any children and you're a women you are seen as ether heartless or a miserable old cat lady. But if you look at a man that never settles down and doesn't have kids, he is seen as some charming bachelor aka George Clooney (before he go married of course). This is extremely unfair to women because we have just as much right to make a decision not to have a child as a man does. But even more so we are the ones being the "house" to the growing baby and going into labor, so, shouldn't we be the ones to receive less judgement rather than men? When did it become ok to judge a women based off of what she isn't "providing" to the world? Can we instead focus on who she is a human?
I don't know about you, but I love to self reflect (sometimes I analyze a little too much, but that's besides the point). The other day I began to think about my tendencies/character as a person. In doing so I started connecting the dots to why I might do certain things due to something that I was "taught" when I was little. An example of this can be having someone in your life from a very young age that you feel like you always have to please. Nothing is ever good enough for this person, so as you age you might start to internalize this and view yourself as not being good enough. Another example could be having a parent that isn't very present in your life. If it's your mom you might have issues with closeness, being taken care of or nurtured/being nurturing as you get older. If it's your dad you might have issues with guys, develop unhealthy relationships, or have a need to feel safe all the time. Now these are just examples, and obviously they vary for different genders. But, isn't it amazing how you can look back on things that might have happened or how you were treated as a child and can directly connect them to how you act now? Now some of you may be thinking "how the hell is this a good thing", I was treated like _______ as a child and now my personal life is reaping the consequences? Well, first off just being aware of why you do a certain thing is a great achievement all on its own so give yourself a pat on the back. Second, now you can mentally change how you act because you can acknowledge why you are doing it in the first place! We can't go back and change the past, but we can change how we view it.
Women all over have heard the line "guys are so simple" one too many times, and I am going to set this shit straight. By saying this it's almost implied that women are the complete opposite, that we are complex crazy beasts running around. First off, we aren't, its all the mixed signals that make us confused and annoyed, as any human would be. But, according to many guys they "say what they mean" and "don't play head games", I don't believe this to be completely true, y'all love your mixed signals. What are some of these mixed signals you may ask? When you say you are going to do something, then actually do it, if you have no intention of doing it in the first place, then don't freaking say! Or when you act interested and say all the right things, logically, she thinks you are interested, when in reality all you want is a booty call; just come out about the booty call from the get go don't lead us on. Or, this is my personal favorite, when a guy talks to you for hours on end one day and then drops off the face of the earth the next. Ok, can we all agree there are some guys that do a lot of crazy making, aka YOU ARE NOT SIMPLE. Now I am not saying this pertains to all guys! I know there are some really sweet and caring guys out there that don't play head games, but unfortunately I have yet to meet one. If you say that guys are simple then women are too. Seriously, when someone says guys are simple it’s usually followed by something to prove how simple they really are like: "they mean what they say", or "if he is interested he will act it". As a rebuttal, women: “ want you to make us feel wanted” and “if she opens up to you, she trusts and feels safe with you”. Now I realize for both parties this is not true for everyone, but this is just a general, very broad overview. In saying all of this, can we stop referring to guys as being simple because lets face, it no one is simple. Lastly, just as a heads up, if you truly are interested in a women and you ask her to the movies make sure she is the first person you ask not the second ;)
"The first intense period of love can last one to three years. After that, these feelings subside. But if two people are compatible, there are many ways to renew a flagging partnership. Novelty can spur romance; sex can trigger it, too. Do some of the things that you used to when you were first dating. " - Dr. Fisher
I read this quote the other day and was immediately perplexed by it. The act of falling in and out of love can take 1-3 years. Could this be the reason behind the increase in divorce rates? Everyone today seems to be getting married as quickly as they can that they aren't truly in love with the person, just lusting after them. Now there can obviously be different variations of this, but the majority of the time this is it. Now I believe that we all have many many soul-mates, but I do think there is only one person that we can connect with on an inexplicable level. So in this case if you do get married only to get a divorce 3 years later that person could have been a soul-mate, just not "the one". But back to falling in and out of love. When we get together with someone we normally aren't thinking about when the relationship will end, but should we? Would we be able to protect our hearts better if we all excepted that love has an expiration date?
Take pride in how far you have come and have faith in how far you can go