When it comes to societal pressures, how are we supposed to know the cut off point of where they end and we begin? A couple months back I was asked where I see myself in 10 years. I had heard this question a lot at the time, as I had been going to copious amounts of interviews, but this one sounded different. Rather than being asked what my short term and long term goals where I was asked "where" I see myself. I almost blurted out that I saw myself with kids, having a family, a house, the "picture-perfect-white-picket-fence" life. This was the first thing that was going to pop out of my mouth during a job interview. While I have always envisioned myself with just that, the family, the house, the amazing husband, I don't want that to be the end all be all. I want a career doing what I love and nights out and hobbies, not just to be a caretaker. Not that there is anything wrong with being a mom! In fact, being a mother is one of, if not, the greatest gift in the world in my opinion. However, the fact that at 21 years old this was the first and only thing I was going to tell my possible employer about my future got me thinking. The idea of what a woman or man "should" be has been so thoroughly ingrained in us from when we were little it can become scary at times. In saying this, I truly do hope to be a mom someday..... in the very very far off future..... but that is not all that I will be. Woman are not just reproducing machines. We are human beings with dreams and emotions, just like our male counterparts, yet we receive so much backlash if we don't "follow our role". When was the last time you heard somebody telling a little boy about becoming a father one day? How he needed to be a stand up man for his future children? Or, have you ever even heard of a man being shamed for not wanting to have kids in the first place? Instead, he is seen as driven and a go-getter for not wanting to settle down. Then on top of that, ironically enough, he will have woman attracted to him because of this mystery. Whereas if a woman were to tell someone she didn't plan to reproduce she would be seen as a lost cause and banished from society. All due to the mindset of 'how dare she waste her natural resources like that, she is "so selfish" '. When it comes to these sexist stereotypes do we actually believe them, or are we just programmed?
When it comes to fear, is faith the only thing that can quell the manic mind? Reminding yourself that you will be okay. You are going to heal. You are going to start a new. Piecing yourself back together again like a puzzle. Some edges don't match up any longer from the sudden shatter. So, you add a little extra love and care, be gentle. You aren't failing because some pieces are chipped and others scuffed. That is part of your process. You are learning, growing, expanding. Embrace the contrast. Nothing is truly perfect in life unless you believe it is. So believe in your complete and perfect self. You aren't wrong. Parts of you aren't missing; they have just changed from their original form. But these cracks and chipped corners allow in more light, embrace it.
When it comes to getting older, it is okay that you still don't have it ALL figured out. To be able to admit that where your five year old self pictured you would be at this age hasn't come to fruition (frankly it isn't even remotely close to being correct)and that is okay. It is okay to be lost. It is okay if you are unsure about if this is what you're "supposed" to be doing. It is all okay. What matters most it that you are aware. Aware of the emotions and feelings you are having and doing your best to change them...but only if you want to. Have faith in the process. Trust that there are no mistakes or accidents in life. This can often times be a hard pill to swallow, especially when life throws something in your path you almost cant climb over. But that is okay. You are learning. You are a work in progress. Which in some ways is relieving, you won't ever reach perfection, so why worry so much about attaining it? Just cherish the moment. Be in the here and now, the ever changing emotions, experiences and circumstances and look at them as a blessing. They are all perfect. This is a way to grow and develop into something greater. Accept it and look at this moment as a miracle. A way to teach you something, make you expand upon the amazing person you already are. You are trying. You are enough. You are human.
Take pride in how far you have come and have faith in how far you can go