Bridge lights and salty seas. Our mini adventures in the dark. Tightly wrapped around you, my head on your shoulder. Hair whipping in the wind, tickling my neck and right ear. There is no place I would rather be than right here, you and me. Soothing summer nights welcome our eager minds. Pointing out dream homes, cars and boats, picturing a life with you is what I need most. Spreading my arms out wide like a bird, rumbling down the street, this is all that I need. Late nights, the salty sea, changing bridge lights, and the dream of you and me.
Becoming comfortable with the uncomfortable is quite the uncomfortable thing to do, but sometimes it is your only choice. You need new growth in your life and circumstances have shown up to help you do just that. It is not what you wanted, no something you wished for before shutting your eyes at night. But it is happening. And it is here for a reason. To show you something you have never seen or to make you look at life differently. No matter what it is here for, welcome it with open arms. Remain aware of the feelings and emotions that come but don't push them away. Become an observer of your own life. Look back and realize just how much of a blessing this is and has been. Maybe you don't feel this in the moment, but you will. Trust me. The uncomfortable serves you.
You can feel it coming from a mile away. Bright blue fades into grey as the wind picks up. Memories once buried, unearth and swirl around with every gust. You can feel your eyes dim as it begins to crawl up your throat. Slow at first, creeping its way, sticky and slow until it feels lodged behind your tongue. Stinging salt pecks at the back of your eyes, blinking slowly trying not to draw attention. Rushing to any room with a lock, deep sorrow beckons behind your lids. The pain you refused to acknowledge is now making itself known. Just keep smiling, just keep smiling. Even though that seems to cause more hurt. The monumental effort it takes to turn the corners of your mouth upwards is painful. You told yourself you would be over this within a month, but reality sets in. Feet crossed, eyes gazing through window panes, realizing today is the fourth month. Defeat, weakness and shame flood in. As if this was something easy to come back from. Mourning the love you thought you had. Removing the feeling of betrayal that was planted 22 years ago. You allow yourself to feel it as it comes in turbulent waves. Salty cheeks welcome it’s arrival and for that short time comes release.
Take pride in how far you have come and have faith in how far you can go