When we get a feeling about someone is it always right to act on it immediately? We often say it is our gut instinct or we "just know". But do we sometimes assume it's our gut reaction telling us something when we are just over thinking? How are we supposed to know if it is our gut instinct or an overreaction? Could our instinct be telling us one thing when their intentions are pure? Or are we always somehow innately right?
The familiar smirk
As arms envelope
And warmth surrounds
Filling and emptying
Of bellies and doubts
The calm before, no storm
And just when she thought,
She couldn't love him more,
I read a quote the other day that just rubbed me the wrong way, read and you shall see, "men cheat because there are so many women willing to give themselves to a man who doesn't belong to them." Now right after reading this I for a second thought "why the hell do women do this to one another?" Then coming-to and realizing that the blame for cheating is yet again thrown onto females. So basically the normal crap we always hear. First off, I am not saying that the women whom are "stealing" these men away are off the hook. They still are in the wrong in doing this, not even thinking about what it would be like to be the woman on the other side. Also, side note, if your man can be "stolen" let her keep him because REAL men can not be stolen. Back to the main topic, so yes a very very small part of me can acknowledge a tiny amount of this quote is true. There are just some women out there that honestly don't care and will do this. I should note, she is only able to do what your man allows her to do, if he pushed her away, she wouldn't be able to do anything. Aka, it takes two to tango! So, your "man" had to already have had a wondering eye in order for this to occur. He was willing, it is not like she took him hostage, he walked right through that door, or sent that text knowing exactly what would happen. Why it seems today that a lot of men ( and I am not saying all, because I know there are so many amazing men out there!) can't seem to take the blame for something they did. Whether is be cheating or rape or whatever else women are blamed for, men, whom are mostly doing these things never seem to be in trouble. It's absolutely ridiculous! In saying all of this I am not saying men are the only ones who cheat and rape. I am very aware that women do the same. But, when a man does these things they never seems to be able to take responsibility for their actions. You did something fucked up, accept it. So no, the reason men cheat is not solely due to women making themselves available to taken men. It is due to a multitude of other reasons but mainly the man or whomever is the one in the relationship is mostly at fault. They didn't have the decency to end this relationship, in which they obviously didn't care much about, before they continued. Because that's the thing, you don't hurt someone like that if you truly cared about them. End of story.
He is a New Years celebration
Pancakes and bacon on a Sunday morning
A babies first steps
Twinkly Christmas lights
A welcome home hug
A dandelion intact
A supportive hand upon the small of a back
And my birthday wish from the years past
Do we forgive to forget or forget in order to forgive? Most of the time the hardest person to forgive isn't somebody whom hurt you. No that, that, can be a simpler method. The majority of the time the hardest person to forgive is yourself. The murmurs that turn to guilt, all caused by your own being. The toughest part is you can't get away from you in order to think things through. So when it comes to forgiveness just how do you do it if you can't separate from who you are trying to forgive? In this case do we forget in order to forgive?
In relationships whether they be romantic or platonic one of the most priceless things you can provide to the other person is patience. I know this may sound weird or silly, especially since in a lot of other articles and blogs we read they point out something else to be important like honesty or compassion (which does have a lot to do with patience). But I am going to talk about one of the less known gifts you can give. It seems as though so many of us get irritated and are always in a rush with most things in life, getting places, during work, with other people, etc. So now being calm and available to listen is one of the most priceless things. Especially if you have never had someone show patience in the past, when you experience it, it can be monumental to your own growth because then you will want to do the same for someone else. Having someone sit and listen to you, respect your boundaries whether they be emotional or physical, and continue to support you no matter what has to be one of the best feelings ever. You are being heard and excepted for exactly who you are. Now this does not pertain to someone whom is manipulative/abusive. Giving into them and providing patience is not going to help either or you. I am only talking about a healthy relationship where you both truly love and care for each other. Where you can make a mistake or act in a non-desirable way but still have them there at the end of the day. Because they know whom you are and can look past it, learning and growing alongside you, because that is all relationships are about. Growth.
Take pride in how far you have come and have faith in how far you can go